THE GAME

The Game is an abstract concept.
It involves no tangible objects, nor is it played on any physical medium.
It exists in the minds of those who play it, and it never ends.
That's right, you can never win The Game (though this is debatable).

In order to lose the Game, you have to think about the game.
Upon thinking about the Game, you lose and must announce that you've lost.
This spreads the game to new people and forces others to lose the game.

So, you are now playing the Game.

You will soon forget about this definition, and maybe sometime soon be reminded of it somehow, thereby losing the game.

And, After All...

After all the mannequin pushing in 1st-Aid course...

2Artificial Ventilations + 15Chest Compressions
Now you can save a life too! Not...

Well, the Royal Rangers roped in St. John's Amblance to give a crash course on 1st-Aid

Me, Kester, Lily, Steph, shoulder...

kinda look real, right??

To Maniam, the instructor.. Sir, sometimes you just talk utter nonsense... sometimes you sound like an old man (granted, you ARE 65..) who's got nothing better to do than talk rubbish to little kids who would believe you anyways... sometimes, the things you talk about... well, lets just say its not right to say those things in church.
But whether you read this or not, Thanks! somehow, the stupidity of everything you said stuck, and, upon contemplation... has significant meaning.. mostly though the meanings arent what you intended, im sure... but still, decades of saving lives is an inspiration to us all. God bless!

Preacher of healing

And thank God, everyone passed… I honestly doubted myself k… hahaa..

After all the wood burnt in the HeART club Council Fire

This was another quickie Council fire done for the HeART club members in Calvaryland
Theme: Christmas. Kah Leong prepared a whole Councilfire plan by himself, and yeah... i think it turned out alright...

Makan...

Then work...

Then makan again...

Kids had fun with the games and skits and i guess the Cmdrs did too...

After all the awards given out in the COA

Thank God for a sore/sexy voice to Emcee the COA.. haha...
And thank God for making everything run smoothly, other than the little hiccup at the end...

The slideshow presentation Kester made really got to me… So much was done this year, it feels like 2 years in one...

Camporama
Setting up RR in Sri Lanka and Indonesia
Call of Duty & DR & HeART club Council fires
DR/AR camp
Calvary Carnival booths
1st Aid course

That's all I can think of now…
Thank God la…

After all the emotional alter calls of Youth Camp'09: Emerge

To quote Kerby, "this camp was anything but hype"

Quite true, this camp was much to my personal liking. Honest to its core.
God did an amazing job through Mike Pilavachi, i (as well as everyone else, im sure) learnt not to rely on how much we pray, or how much the speaker actually says…
But speak little, and wait more… another point much to my liking…

As for a first-aider's PoV, Thank God no one died… LOL… that is enough, really…
Quite draining job la... hope i didnt like.. give wrong medicine... gg wei...
Be grateful la…

After all the beautifully marinated and barbequed lamb/RR LG Christmas Fellowship

So we had this makan thing at Cmdr Lily's poolside…
A few Cmdrs and their spouses, and kids…
A bunch of us younger Cmdrs
And, yes… the lamb…
oh, the lamb... hahahaa

Lily's husband, John marinated them...
He's secret? Rojak every sauce you can find… yeah, right…

Other than that, Tim single-handedly prepared games, songs, and other activities to keep us busy… good job there…
Nice to see people talking and the kids mixing and all that…
And the swimming was fun too… major de-stressing points there…

After all... there was Zombieland!

Yess… after all the blood, sweat and tears… after all the aches, pains and strains… and, after all
the planning, contemplating and worrying
Ngeow and I unwound ourselves with sushi and a movie anyone can laugh at (whether it turns out to be good or bad)…

Confession I have never been inside a restaurant with a conveyor belt since… 10? Well, let's just say the cost was far beyond expectation…. Lol…

But, Zombieland was too, faaarrr beyond expectations…
Comedy, gore, romance, horror all blended nicely together… Movies like this prove that fun movies can be great too...

Rotten tomatoes gave it an 86 percent? That, my mainstream-following friends, is 3% higher than Avatar… Only it actually premiered in Oct…
Its time to nut up, or shut up. lol...

22Dec

Jeremiah 15:15-20

15 You understand, O LORD;

remember me and care for me.

Avenge me on my persecutors.

You are long-suffering—do not take me away;

think of how I suffer reproach for your sake.

16 When your words came, I ate them;

they were my joy and my heart's delight,

for I bear your name,

O LORD God Almighty.

17 I never sat in the company of revelers,

never made merry with them;

I sat alone because your hand was on me

and you had filled me with indignation.

18 Why is my pain unending

and my wound grievous and incurable?

Will you be to me like a deceptive brook,

like a spring that fails?

19 Therefore this is what the LORD says:

"If you repent, I will restore you

that you may serve me;

if you utter worthy, not worthless, words,

you will be my spokesman.

Let this people turn to you,

but you must not turn to them.

20 I will make you a wall to this people,

a fortified wall of bronze;

they will fight against you

but will not overcome you,

for I am with you

to rescue and save you,"

declares the LORD.

7Dec09

1524

XXV

Its the 25th,
Gona be Christmas in a month's time
and its been a month since my birthday
Pablo Picasso, Georges Bizet & Johann Strauss celebrated theirs a month ago too...
Oh, not forgetting Claryn Chong too

25 cents makes a complete quater
and it takes 25 points to win a volleyball match
25 is the size of a full roster in major league baseball
Pachisi, a national Indian board game, means 25

A silver anniversary takes 25 years of marriage
There are 25 points in Hitler's Nazi party
and there are 25 nabi's and rasul's chosen by Allah in Islam
25 divided by 5 equals 14
25 characters needed for Microsoft Office product key

The height of Solomon's temple was 25 cubits
Ezekiel's temple gate was 25 cubits wide
Equals the sum of the first 5 odd numbers (1+3+5+7+9)

Equals 3+4+5+6+7
Equals a square number which is the sum of two square numbers

Well, none of this really matters anyways...

Its funny how people (lol.. cant decide to use 'you' or 'i') look for significance in the littlest things.
how... WE.. try to find ourselves either in the core fragments that define our existance (like names, birth dates, being 6feet or blonde), or things completely random

Common ground between these two things seem to be incontrolable, definitive and distinctive
Its something that differentiates us, includes us, and not decided by us
Maybe when it seems like figuring out what our big picture looks like feels too massive we look to lesser things or things that has always been there

been thinking lots on this whole identity topic lately,
wondering what youl get if you strip off all the crap in life
searching for who you truly are

"In all truth..."
Jesus said that, 25 times in the the book of John

-------------------------

Other than that,

Penang trip was quite fun,

Dare say i enjoyed myself more than i expected...

Too lazy to take pics tho, just wanted to unwind...

Guess i'll never eat dimsum, salted chicken, or char kuey teow the same way again.

Ever.

Oh, cant wait for the next XXV

25Nov09

2345

Second 2 Yourself

hey, hows it been?
listening to Renegade fighter-Zed

its funny looking at life from a second person point of view, huh? Think about it. you get to judge yourself, all the wrongs and rights, and be completely neutral. AND you don't get too emotionally attached to what happens to you. as in if something bad happens you just say, "oh man, tough luck..." and the feelings swept away just like that. yeah, i wish.

But in a sense, you don't get too much sorrow that you get hung over, not too much joy that you get proud, not too much love that you get obsessed.
flip side, you don't get to actually savour any of it, either. inhuman?

wonder, if you split youre conscience, between the person who lives your life and the person who looks at it, who would you be, really? between a micro and macro point of view = identity crisis?

kinda crooked way to live... but its funny coz...
nah, i wont say why...
(and i know I'll sound creepy, but trust me, its for the best...)

listening to Inside of Love... nice one, that..
speaking of funny
know whats funny?
trends.

just thinking of the effects of blogs and myspace and facebook on us in the long run...
how would people turn out after 30 years of Facebook?

think of the kids now exposed to so much and trying to grow up so fast...
how are our kids gonna turn out?

listening to... oh, i don't know, but its old skool and has a wicked bass riff...

okay, okay.. if you really want something bluntly funny here's one:
Yo mama sooo fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, guys come up to her and say,
"Mak Cik!!! ada Digi spuluh Ringgit?"

check it out, man... m'sian yo mama joke..
anyways, this counts as a post la.. settle..

Going to Penang on Wed, don't know if I'm going to enjoy it... hm... see how la...
oh, wonder if Andrews still there...

listening to belle and sebastian's We Rule the School.
cant tell you how much i like this, relaxing... :)

17Nov09
0359

an eve of epiphany

Have you been close to death before?
to realize that all you lived for could be wiped away
that the few second you were in could have been your last?

That heartbeat. that helplessness. that confusion. that realization. that fear.

At that point, you honestly struggle to live
at that point where it isn't a joke anymore
at that point where you could die

At that point, life is real because its moving away from you
quicker than how time slothfully drags it
and you have to try to tighten your grip or choose to let it go

Like any prey of a predator, like any freak accident, like everyone else from old age.
to be at the point where you could finally find out what happens next.
or if anything will happen at all

I have.

Was watching this YouTube about a scuba diver tried to sink to the bottom, just for sport.
it was from a vidcam which he held as he sank.
it was seen from a point-of-view perspective
and it showed how he reached the bottom
got tangled in the sand
and died.

You remember the things you were suppose to do
you regret the things you were suppose to say
you think of the people who matter
because they suddenly don't anymore

When you face death, your face changes a little
it ages a little, solemnise a little, it grows older
you may even say it starts to look like death himself
well, maybe a little

Exhale

"Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start."
- The Scientist


I'm feeling veryyyy... heavy...
tired i guess
discouraged partially tons of work piling up and I've lost all motivation
have i never had it in the first place
theres no will to continue this game
its a pointless unified march
from running to persistent jogging to stray walking to dragging your feet in circles
around a tree hoping for a finish line or a pit stop
and fatigue just caught up again
I'm pulled and stretched and drained
I'm disappointed and frustrated
at myself for not doing as i should not as well as i can
what am i suppose to do
who am i supposedly
where do i go from here
who do i become
mere flesh wounds and blood
and the feeling of mortality
human
I'm frustrated at my own disability
at how blind i am
at how crippled i am
wretched strength of self-reliance
useless

He's really got me this time
hit when i hurt
so take me higher
pray 4 me pls?

"Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I..."
- Fix You

"In a bullet proof vest
With the windows all closed
I'll be doing my best
I'll see you soon
In a telescope lens
And when all you want is friends
I'll see you soon"
-See You Soon

Maan.. listening to Coldplay classics at 2am feels like that seaming hot chocolate (not coffee, mind you... hot chocolate) on a rainy day... warm..
very chicken-soup-for-the-soul... ever read that one?

"Now when you work out where to draw the line
You're guess is as good as mine"
- God put a Smile on Your Face

speaking of coffee... i am going to officially try to cut down on my caffeine intake... everything caffeine... so if you see me taking something significantly caffeinated, shout: "HANSEL, YOU"RE TAKING SOMETHING SIGNIFICANTLY CAFFEINATED!!!"

You know what i hate?
bad first impressions
perceptions, misconceptions
did you know?
you dont evaluate a person at the time she smiles at you or by the first 5 words he says
by the first 12 second of you noticing the person, youve already decided whether you like the person or not.
ridiculous.
so what if i look stuck up or proud or shy or arrogant?
is that who i am? do you know me?
i have so many people telling me, "hey you know, last time i really though you were so cocky. never talk to anyone some more..."
and we'll laugh about it coz the only reason they can tell me that is coz im not
dont judge a freaking durian by its spikes man... frustrating.
try looking past everyone physically and find out each person for who he is
despite obesity despite ugliness despite thatirritatinghabit despite faceproblems
if you cant, find one good thing about him and focus all you can on it
then maybe you get a glimpse of how Jesus sees each and every one of us.
(note: lol.. im not refering to myself evrytime i use 'him' k? i mean generally everyone 'him'.. its just coz if i use 'her', you might get the wrong idea, get it? haha...)


"What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong"
- What If?

Stumbled on these few links, you might find interesting... hehe..

1) the national blogroll?

I got mine signed up, go check it out...haha..

they even have blog (popularity) levels..

2) this girl from SG started a clothes/assesories line
named after me... wohoo!!

JK la, i duno her... its named after her dog, apparently...

"Oh, what good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget but not forgive
Not loving all you see"
-Swallowed in the Sea

Remember that one? i made a video of that song while in CIMP... still very proud of it, haha..
try to upload into blogger/youtube someday...
yup, thats the end of my (emo?) post...

"Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all... "
- Yellow :)