Gravity

i am coming to terms with myself.
tying up some loose ends, and leaving the rest to fray.
but im at peace
amidst an ever present night of uncertainty
i am growing sure of myself
adapting and accepting that this is going to be me

its like a foreign object puncturing your skin
the pain lasts so long
until your skin grows around it
and learns to embrace it

i still cant see a light this way
or, its just as dim as anywhere else
and i dont know how many will read this
another ore unrefined
or unrecycled waste

i hope you see this
and no dont think its someone else
because theres no escaping it

theres a consequence at either outcomes
but i, for one, rather die living this through
than live not knowing how else i'd die

this is raw,
at its purest form
because there isnt many places for this anymore.

My shoulders hurt. really really bad.
so bad that ive considered finding a doctor.
im tired of carrying and lifting up
i feel an age beyond my years
thoughts weigh on my eyes
in my heart
on my shoulders

Still, aging is timeless
through time you see how many things evolve
Yet, in time, you realize what little changes

but no,
fretting does no ill or good.
it is only justified when action is accompanied
Rise. despite age despite anger despite agony
because,
when you accomplish despite everything you are
you accomplish with God

From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Whats bean up...

funny how "whats been down" has the same meaning....

Was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day...
about the purpose of life, yeah... we go deep...

Ming: have you asked God whats your purpose in life?
Me: (asks God...)yeah...
Ming: and?
Me: He laughing and saying that if He chose to answer that, the answer would have been out long ago and there wouldnt be any point in living anymore...
Ming: lol...

As of now in terms of purpose, Id say that if you want to live contented, find what you truly love and persue it. and finding it's the hardest part...
We concluded that there couldnt be a specific purpose for all of us, and even if there was... it would be quite general...

Then we got into the relationships topic.
how detachment causes people to find quick replacements or distractions when the wisest choice would be to learn from ones experiences
How relationships are made and meant to be permanent

"When you think about it, realizing the purpose of "relationships" we have will motivate you to search ever for that one and only person, to whom you give your all to keep and build a beautiful story with that ultimately leads to, but not ends at, the altars of God."

The question of what am i looking for in a.... partner has been constantly popping up in my head... hahaa... deduce what you will from that...

As of Now, ive been hanging around curve for 2 whole days straight..
Thought i had the morning shift yesterday, turned out to be night instead...
today i had morning shift, but had to stay on coz someone was unavailable
So i took 4 shots of expresso.

you know, caffiene only shoots to your heart
and i think it gives you a bloodrush to your brain
THATS why if your tired, coffee only keeps you awake
not stronger. learned through experience...

I should write a book on this...

Inspired by caffiene,
Hansel

The Last Week of Febuary

is a killer...

shifts and meetings and farewells and appointments

emotionally too...

Schedule's jam packed

Its between Wednesday and Thursday now... currently, can survive la...

You know, people always ask how can a person be so busy, yet have time to blog/facebook...
Well i do that, and i guess its to compensate all the stress, y'know?

for me its like a reward, and if i dont do that and go straight to bed, lagi cannot work later...
Hence, the blogging.
Its me-time... like how some people must dig into their favourite book, or eat something(or coffeee... ), or call a special someone..

But works good,
One month in and Coffee Bean's been friendly, (which is the F in "FROTH")
Notice how if you take away the F, its ROTH... and it sounds like Wrath...
Yeah... that reminds me of my boss...

I've a bunch of SPM leaving colleagues (4 in all? i think..), a considerably pro barista who's my age... and a bunch of strict but can-joke-with bosses
Take my word, it is almost NEVER dull in the kitchen...
I enjoy work... :P yeap...

ANd and and... proudly, i can tell the diff between Machiatos and Lattes and Cappuccino (Can even spell it right ;) ) and ofcourse expresso... from Long blacks to flat whites...

So as of now...
Im officially a barista :) thats a tick off "Things to do before i die" list...
And Mabel Soo's in Adelaide...
so THAT sucks...
Managed to let go a bit of the past...
and realized friends are worth keeping after all...
Church schedule's been..... altered....
and the responsibilities aree..... like that la...
And i MIGHT be getting a new ride..
Might...

Randomly, have you ever stayed up till the sun rose?
not wake up before dawn k.. actually not sleep till the next day...
i kinda like the feeling it gives... its like, witnessing birth...

its a solemn moment, yet makes you want run out and bask in the light... just to it get it while its fresh...

And in that i really get why dawn is closely related to hope... if you struggled to keep awake long enough, or have assignments to do till 7am... you'll know what i mean...

Without Wax,
Hansel
25Feb

Belief

There was once a boy who had a bad past,
Because of which, he hurt himself,
And this troubled his father,

So he went to see a doctor and begged,
"Please, if you can, heal my son."

"If I can??"

The specialist, clearly irritated, replied:
"Sir, what DO you believe is possible?"

Immediately the boy's father exclaimed,

"I DO believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" - Mark 6:24

---

Belief.
Its a word has been constantly in and out of my head.
Come to think of it, it maybe from God...

So much comes out of how much one believes in himself.
and it brings confidence, or otherwise
and hope, or fear.

its like, a total doubtless acceptance that something is true. Conviction.
The web defines it as: any cognitive content held as true
What you believe structures your thoughts and actions, attitudes and motivations.

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

Belief, or Epistemology (lol, pronounced: A-'Piss-Them-All'-ogy... the scientific study of knowledge and belief),

---

John Mayer also wrote about Belief in the album, 'Continuum',

Amidst the riffs, he sings:

"Belief is a beautiful armor

But makes for the heaviest sword

Like punching under water
You never can hit who you're trying for

We're never gonna win the world

We're never gonna stop the war

We're never gonna beat this

If belief is what we're fighting for"

Nice song, if you're into blues, listen to it...
A little morbid on the lyrics though.

He explains, later, that he thinks that it is futile to replace someones belief with another. "The only way that anybody can change a belief is internally."

True. Circumstances like accidents, inter-religious debates, and abuse have been known to dramatically change what a person believes in.

"Everyone believes...

From emptiness to everything"

Gavin DeGraw also has a song with the same title, giving belief a more protagonist-ic approach.

dedicated his to tsunami victims.

---

I find it hard to believe in myself. Lack of confidence, maybe. But its been always easier when someones believing in me instead. maybe its reassuring...

Ah, its just decisions that i've got to make. I seem to be going in circles, its fun... Till the nausea hits. One minute its like, "screw the world, this is what i want", next, "wait, is this really going to work?". But hell, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, right? So bring on the nausea...

Lets talk bout Allah...

Oh, please don't throw a Molotov cocktail and incinerate my blog... smirk...

Everyone (assumably) knows bout the church burnings/vandalism that's been going on around here... but for the ignorant, thus ends your bliss ;)

As of today, (Disclaimer: only as far as I've heard...) 8 churches have been burnt via homemade Molotov cocktails, a number of pastor's cars splashed with black/red paint, and rumors of people breaking into cars with signs of Christianity are spreading. Cause? A Catholic published an article and called his God, 'Allah'. Naturally, there are people of another faith who would feel offended. It was brought to court, which in turn ruled in the publisher's favour. Even more disappointment.. mhmm...

---

Technically, the Arabic word 'Allah' and the Hebrew name for their God 'Aleim' (whom we now popularly spell 'Elohim') came from the same root Semitic word, 'Al'/'El'. So Islamic authorities cant actually claim the word 'Allah' to represent the Islamic God. That, adding to the fact that Allah is defined as 'the one God' or a mono-theistic God in most middle-eastern countries (possibly ALL other countries), makes one really wonder "Who really IS in the right?".

None the less, for convenience sake it would have been much simpler to keep things the way it was. its so much easier to stick with God, or even Tuhan (which, if you don't know, is God, mono- or poly-theistic). Stirring up a storm in a teacup? Well, i guess if something isn't right, someone has to try fixing it.

---

So how should we respond? (as Christians i mean... and as not to make this post any more cheong hei, we'll use bullet points):

- Understand. Hey, what if Hindus or Muslims start calling their god Yahweh, or Jehovah? Kinda feels a little insulting right? + Allah has always been a personal name for the God Malays worship. faham faham la...
- Think. Please don't act rashly, whatever you do. Be it burning a mosque, talking about this issue in public, or things like drinking and the language you use... the way people see it: You=Christian
- Act. Be ready to give an answer to those who question your faith. Not offensively, but be in the know and prepared to relate to those of other faiths. For God's sake, don't start a fight! And please, do pray always for all Malaysians.


Its not a time to celebrate, but lets stand confident and see things in Gods eyes.

---

Personally, i feel that Malaysia has really grown and matured. Look, 30 years back, if someone burned a place of worship, race riots would start and many people will kill more people and lots would die and their kids would kill more people etc..

Today, assuming (as everyone are) that the culprit are Muslim extremist, its so very touching and assuring to find what, 130 Muslim NGOs? All volunteering to ensure the Church's (in capital, because it means all of us :) safety.

Thank God :)
Hansel

12Jan10

THE GAME

The Game is an abstract concept.
It involves no tangible objects, nor is it played on any physical medium.
It exists in the minds of those who play it, and it never ends.
That's right, you can never win The Game (though this is debatable).

In order to lose the Game, you have to think about the game.
Upon thinking about the Game, you lose and must announce that you've lost.
This spreads the game to new people and forces others to lose the game.

So, you are now playing the Game.

You will soon forget about this definition, and maybe sometime soon be reminded of it somehow, thereby losing the game.

And, After All...

After all the mannequin pushing in 1st-Aid course...

2Artificial Ventilations + 15Chest Compressions
Now you can save a life too! Not...

Well, the Royal Rangers roped in St. John's Amblance to give a crash course on 1st-Aid

Me, Kester, Lily, Steph, shoulder...

kinda look real, right??

To Maniam, the instructor.. Sir, sometimes you just talk utter nonsense... sometimes you sound like an old man (granted, you ARE 65..) who's got nothing better to do than talk rubbish to little kids who would believe you anyways... sometimes, the things you talk about... well, lets just say its not right to say those things in church.
But whether you read this or not, Thanks! somehow, the stupidity of everything you said stuck, and, upon contemplation... has significant meaning.. mostly though the meanings arent what you intended, im sure... but still, decades of saving lives is an inspiration to us all. God bless!

Preacher of healing

And thank God, everyone passed… I honestly doubted myself k… hahaa..

After all the wood burnt in the HeART club Council Fire

This was another quickie Council fire done for the HeART club members in Calvaryland
Theme: Christmas. Kah Leong prepared a whole Councilfire plan by himself, and yeah... i think it turned out alright...

Makan...

Then work...

Then makan again...

Kids had fun with the games and skits and i guess the Cmdrs did too...

After all the awards given out in the COA

Thank God for a sore/sexy voice to Emcee the COA.. haha...
And thank God for making everything run smoothly, other than the little hiccup at the end...

The slideshow presentation Kester made really got to me… So much was done this year, it feels like 2 years in one...

Camporama
Setting up RR in Sri Lanka and Indonesia
Call of Duty & DR & HeART club Council fires
DR/AR camp
Calvary Carnival booths
1st Aid course

That's all I can think of now…
Thank God la…

After all the emotional alter calls of Youth Camp'09: Emerge

To quote Kerby, "this camp was anything but hype"

Quite true, this camp was much to my personal liking. Honest to its core.
God did an amazing job through Mike Pilavachi, i (as well as everyone else, im sure) learnt not to rely on how much we pray, or how much the speaker actually says…
But speak little, and wait more… another point much to my liking…

As for a first-aider's PoV, Thank God no one died… LOL… that is enough, really…
Quite draining job la... hope i didnt like.. give wrong medicine... gg wei...
Be grateful la…

After all the beautifully marinated and barbequed lamb/RR LG Christmas Fellowship

So we had this makan thing at Cmdr Lily's poolside…
A few Cmdrs and their spouses, and kids…
A bunch of us younger Cmdrs
And, yes… the lamb…
oh, the lamb... hahahaa

Lily's husband, John marinated them...
He's secret? Rojak every sauce you can find… yeah, right…

Other than that, Tim single-handedly prepared games, songs, and other activities to keep us busy… good job there…
Nice to see people talking and the kids mixing and all that…
And the swimming was fun too… major de-stressing points there…

After all... there was Zombieland!

Yess… after all the blood, sweat and tears… after all the aches, pains and strains… and, after all
the planning, contemplating and worrying
Ngeow and I unwound ourselves with sushi and a movie anyone can laugh at (whether it turns out to be good or bad)…

Confession I have never been inside a restaurant with a conveyor belt since… 10? Well, let's just say the cost was far beyond expectation…. Lol…

But, Zombieland was too, faaarrr beyond expectations…
Comedy, gore, romance, horror all blended nicely together… Movies like this prove that fun movies can be great too...

Rotten tomatoes gave it an 86 percent? That, my mainstream-following friends, is 3% higher than Avatar… Only it actually premiered in Oct…
Its time to nut up, or shut up. lol...

22Dec

Jeremiah 15:15-20

15 You understand, O LORD;

remember me and care for me.

Avenge me on my persecutors.

You are long-suffering—do not take me away;

think of how I suffer reproach for your sake.

16 When your words came, I ate them;

they were my joy and my heart's delight,

for I bear your name,

O LORD God Almighty.

17 I never sat in the company of revelers,

never made merry with them;

I sat alone because your hand was on me

and you had filled me with indignation.

18 Why is my pain unending

and my wound grievous and incurable?

Will you be to me like a deceptive brook,

like a spring that fails?

19 Therefore this is what the LORD says:

"If you repent, I will restore you

that you may serve me;

if you utter worthy, not worthless, words,

you will be my spokesman.

Let this people turn to you,

but you must not turn to them.

20 I will make you a wall to this people,

a fortified wall of bronze;

they will fight against you

but will not overcome you,

for I am with you

to rescue and save you,"

declares the LORD.

7Dec09

1524

XXV

Its the 25th,
Gona be Christmas in a month's time
and its been a month since my birthday
Pablo Picasso, Georges Bizet & Johann Strauss celebrated theirs a month ago too...
Oh, not forgetting Claryn Chong too

25 cents makes a complete quater
and it takes 25 points to win a volleyball match
25 is the size of a full roster in major league baseball
Pachisi, a national Indian board game, means 25

A silver anniversary takes 25 years of marriage
There are 25 points in Hitler's Nazi party
and there are 25 nabi's and rasul's chosen by Allah in Islam
25 divided by 5 equals 14
25 characters needed for Microsoft Office product key

The height of Solomon's temple was 25 cubits
Ezekiel's temple gate was 25 cubits wide
Equals the sum of the first 5 odd numbers (1+3+5+7+9)

Equals 3+4+5+6+7
Equals a square number which is the sum of two square numbers

Well, none of this really matters anyways...

Its funny how people (lol.. cant decide to use 'you' or 'i') look for significance in the littlest things.
how... WE.. try to find ourselves either in the core fragments that define our existance (like names, birth dates, being 6feet or blonde), or things completely random

Common ground between these two things seem to be incontrolable, definitive and distinctive
Its something that differentiates us, includes us, and not decided by us
Maybe when it seems like figuring out what our big picture looks like feels too massive we look to lesser things or things that has always been there

been thinking lots on this whole identity topic lately,
wondering what youl get if you strip off all the crap in life
searching for who you truly are

"In all truth..."
Jesus said that, 25 times in the the book of John

-------------------------

Other than that,

Penang trip was quite fun,

Dare say i enjoyed myself more than i expected...

Too lazy to take pics tho, just wanted to unwind...

Guess i'll never eat dimsum, salted chicken, or char kuey teow the same way again.

Ever.

Oh, cant wait for the next XXV

25Nov09

2345

Second 2 Yourself

hey, hows it been?
listening to Renegade fighter-Zed

its funny looking at life from a second person point of view, huh? Think about it. you get to judge yourself, all the wrongs and rights, and be completely neutral. AND you don't get too emotionally attached to what happens to you. as in if something bad happens you just say, "oh man, tough luck..." and the feelings swept away just like that. yeah, i wish.

But in a sense, you don't get too much sorrow that you get hung over, not too much joy that you get proud, not too much love that you get obsessed.
flip side, you don't get to actually savour any of it, either. inhuman?

wonder, if you split youre conscience, between the person who lives your life and the person who looks at it, who would you be, really? between a micro and macro point of view = identity crisis?

kinda crooked way to live... but its funny coz...
nah, i wont say why...
(and i know I'll sound creepy, but trust me, its for the best...)

listening to Inside of Love... nice one, that..
speaking of funny
know whats funny?
trends.

just thinking of the effects of blogs and myspace and facebook on us in the long run...
how would people turn out after 30 years of Facebook?

think of the kids now exposed to so much and trying to grow up so fast...
how are our kids gonna turn out?

listening to... oh, i don't know, but its old skool and has a wicked bass riff...

okay, okay.. if you really want something bluntly funny here's one:
Yo mama sooo fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, guys come up to her and say,
"Mak Cik!!! ada Digi spuluh Ringgit?"

check it out, man... m'sian yo mama joke..
anyways, this counts as a post la.. settle..

Going to Penang on Wed, don't know if I'm going to enjoy it... hm... see how la...
oh, wonder if Andrews still there...

listening to belle and sebastian's We Rule the School.
cant tell you how much i like this, relaxing... :)

17Nov09
0359

an eve of epiphany

Have you been close to death before?
to realize that all you lived for could be wiped away
that the few second you were in could have been your last?

That heartbeat. that helplessness. that confusion. that realization. that fear.

At that point, you honestly struggle to live
at that point where it isn't a joke anymore
at that point where you could die

At that point, life is real because its moving away from you
quicker than how time slothfully drags it
and you have to try to tighten your grip or choose to let it go

Like any prey of a predator, like any freak accident, like everyone else from old age.
to be at the point where you could finally find out what happens next.
or if anything will happen at all

I have.

Was watching this YouTube about a scuba diver tried to sink to the bottom, just for sport.
it was from a vidcam which he held as he sank.
it was seen from a point-of-view perspective
and it showed how he reached the bottom
got tangled in the sand
and died.

You remember the things you were suppose to do
you regret the things you were suppose to say
you think of the people who matter
because they suddenly don't anymore

When you face death, your face changes a little
it ages a little, solemnise a little, it grows older
you may even say it starts to look like death himself
well, maybe a little

Exhale

"Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start."
- The Scientist


I'm feeling veryyyy... heavy...
tired i guess
discouraged partially tons of work piling up and I've lost all motivation
have i never had it in the first place
theres no will to continue this game
its a pointless unified march
from running to persistent jogging to stray walking to dragging your feet in circles
around a tree hoping for a finish line or a pit stop
and fatigue just caught up again
I'm pulled and stretched and drained
I'm disappointed and frustrated
at myself for not doing as i should not as well as i can
what am i suppose to do
who am i supposedly
where do i go from here
who do i become
mere flesh wounds and blood
and the feeling of mortality
human
I'm frustrated at my own disability
at how blind i am
at how crippled i am
wretched strength of self-reliance
useless

He's really got me this time
hit when i hurt
so take me higher
pray 4 me pls?

"Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I..."
- Fix You

"In a bullet proof vest
With the windows all closed
I'll be doing my best
I'll see you soon
In a telescope lens
And when all you want is friends
I'll see you soon"
-See You Soon

Maan.. listening to Coldplay classics at 2am feels like that seaming hot chocolate (not coffee, mind you... hot chocolate) on a rainy day... warm..
very chicken-soup-for-the-soul... ever read that one?

"Now when you work out where to draw the line
You're guess is as good as mine"
- God put a Smile on Your Face

speaking of coffee... i am going to officially try to cut down on my caffeine intake... everything caffeine... so if you see me taking something significantly caffeinated, shout: "HANSEL, YOU"RE TAKING SOMETHING SIGNIFICANTLY CAFFEINATED!!!"

You know what i hate?
bad first impressions
perceptions, misconceptions
did you know?
you dont evaluate a person at the time she smiles at you or by the first 5 words he says
by the first 12 second of you noticing the person, youve already decided whether you like the person or not.
ridiculous.
so what if i look stuck up or proud or shy or arrogant?
is that who i am? do you know me?
i have so many people telling me, "hey you know, last time i really though you were so cocky. never talk to anyone some more..."
and we'll laugh about it coz the only reason they can tell me that is coz im not
dont judge a freaking durian by its spikes man... frustrating.
try looking past everyone physically and find out each person for who he is
despite obesity despite ugliness despite thatirritatinghabit despite faceproblems
if you cant, find one good thing about him and focus all you can on it
then maybe you get a glimpse of how Jesus sees each and every one of us.
(note: lol.. im not refering to myself evrytime i use 'him' k? i mean generally everyone 'him'.. its just coz if i use 'her', you might get the wrong idea, get it? haha...)


"What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong"
- What If?

Stumbled on these few links, you might find interesting... hehe..

1) the national blogroll?

I got mine signed up, go check it out...haha..

they even have blog (popularity) levels..

2) this girl from SG started a clothes/assesories line
named after me... wohoo!!

JK la, i duno her... its named after her dog, apparently...

"Oh, what good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget but not forgive
Not loving all you see"
-Swallowed in the Sea

Remember that one? i made a video of that song while in CIMP... still very proud of it, haha..
try to upload into blogger/youtube someday...
yup, thats the end of my (emo?) post...

"Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all... "
- Yellow :)

Berkelah Falls (Picnic Falls)

Im not crazy, im just a little un

Well, i guess i SHOULD be saying something...
Lots have been going on since the last post
its been... trying times...
and rewarding too...

uh... let get to the pics... HAha..
Notice i hvnt been adding much lately..

Ranger Kids Night Out! (21/8/09?)

Good fun la.. when was the last time you flew a kite?
Rephrase: when was the last time you MADE a kite and flew it..?

These kids did man...
Good to see combined effort between Calvary and Grace PJ RR...
+ We had Barbecue NUMBER ONE... courtesy of SamSoongs might-be-famous-in-the-distant-future recipe sauce

I present future-heart-melter Emil

(cmdr trained and approved ;) )

Soong taking off...

(As in flying taking off, not taking off as in.. you know..)

This one was all smiles running everywhere...

Bleahh...

Phillip flying the pink

Then there was..

Alpha’s free cell weekend (29/8/09):

We had car wash... And um.. Obstacle course with chairs
And treasure hunt... mostly thanks to Esther
(Get well soon!)

Oh and pizzaaa and Big Apple and drinks courtesy of JonYee
Love how they had fun...
Theres something about giving that makes you feel... fulfilled...
(Sry no pics here... 2 busy planning... :P)

Day after that was...

DR Camp:Superhero (30/8/09):

Also no pics... VERY busy planning
But basically highlights were (yeah, cut it short la... lazy to type already...):

-Watching Jupiter and the moon up close
-Shooting water bottle rockets
-Shooting potatoes... (no, seriously...) using Sam Gibbs’s “Spud-a-kiss”...
-Playing games with food dye (is awesome)
-Barbecue NUMBER TWO

Awesome la... how come i never got to do these sort of things at their age?

CY Campfire – Call of Duty (5/9/09):

Another awesome event
Headed there early with the advance party (Ngeow, Kat, Wei Lin, and Tim) to set up the place

And took a few pics...

Before my cam died...

Termites.. (whaat? my cam died la.. thats all i got..)

Tim. Sek Fan-ing.. if you look closely he's posing.. lol!

Esther: Thats right! now you get it?

Mi-ang (Jeremy ang) thumbs up making sure everyone gets it...

Some others, who just didn't get it... lol..

We had the usual games in teams like Tangerine Marine, Nazi Lemak, Hairforce One, Squatting Squad, etc... LOL...

Personally, it was like a distant dream come true...
I have now and again (in this blog) explained what CY supposedly consist of... and it’s amazing to see everyone worshiping together (under the forest setting, ill add)

Im glad everything went well, audio for the campfire, the skit (that was VERY hot... yeah..?) and of course... the fire starting *pat shoulder*
All glory to God...

And of course, there was Barbecue NUMBER THREE...

Oh, btw... if you didn't realize (as did i), it poured that night... AFTER the campfire... thats amazing right? God even waited for all of us to get back home safe and dry first... :D

As 4 the campfire, i shall steal 1 pic from... kenny’s blog...

Awesome right?

And just recently,

5Merbau Reunite (10/9/09):

Well, i came late... i... got lost... LOL...
Coz apparently the directions were:
-Manhattan fish market, Cineleisure (opposite Laundry)
Since laundry’s at a corner, theres 2 opposite...
Yeah, basically.. I suck...

But the only thing that changed was evryone’s hair color! (and all can drive now..)
Evryone’s still the same after 2 years...
Haha.. great to see these guys again...

Hwee Ching swinging Alifs cam around

Ms President and May Yi

MagdalenA...

Shafiq

Mr i-came-all-the-way-from-Melaka-with-two-cams-just-to-see-you Alif
Awesome la bro, 2 years man... thats loong..

5 Merbau class of 2007
(- kokSam, Najwa, szeYuen, liCheng, aiLing, tienSoon)

There.. i think ive said enough for now...
haha.. till next time,

emo poetico

"Has it ever occured that while we're waiting for God, God's actually waiting for us?"

you know,
ive tried to do a post like 5 times now...
and i think for now ill just drop 3 things

first up's something i learnt from Monash CF devotion the other day...
(who says people dont remember devotions i prove you wrong)

this big guy was talking about his unofficial missionary work aroun places and how he had to go (and is currently studying in) BCM. Good guy, very honest.
know what i thinks the most attractive atribute a person can display? comfortability with ones self. a person who knows and accepts who he is can be miles more attractive then an insecure person. but i digress.

well, i thought this was very interesting because its so very well constructed and relevant:

4 Problems We Face:

- Primal pain of the Heart
- Cynicism of the Mind
- Paralysis of the Will
- Over-crowding of the Soul

do ponder...

Next up is something from FB (yes, again...)
its a note i found while looking through my profile...

this really cracked me up, alone in my room...
so yeah, my old me cracks up my present me... go figure

Complete the following, tag your friends, and don't forget to tag the person who tagged you. Don't think too long for your answer, just be spontaneous!

SHE CANNOT SEE THE FOREST... Coz its 2 far away?

YOU CANNOT MAKE A SILK PURSE OUT OF... Pursed silk?

DON'T THROW THE BABY OUT... your not Michael Jackson (first thing from my head).. he's dead (2nd)

LOOSE LIPS... Taste wet..

CURIOSITY KILLED..................................................... murderer.

A WATCHED POT... tells time.

YOU CANNOT HAVE YOUR CAKE... Till i have mine?

CUT OFF YOUR NOSE TO... Cut off your hands

FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU. FOOL ME TWICE... Youre not bad..

WHY PAY FOR THE COW WHEN... Goat is cheaper? (indian accent + shake head)

THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO.. Start a fire.. matches, lighter, flint and steel, magnifying glass, bow and drill... (hey, first thing in my mind right?)

DON'T COUNT YOUR CHICKENS... Count the cocks

BIRDS OF A FEATHER... Need more if they want to fly..

A STITCH IN TIME.. Heals all wounds..

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED... At last you wont fail! lol...

THOSE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES... Cant change clothes

THE SQUEAKY WHEEL... Is squeaky clean?

WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE... Is great for the gooses

somethings , only i get...

Akhir skali,

i was cleaning my room just now, yeah... WHOA...
and i found this piece of paper with Michaels writing on it (anyone could tell it was Michael's writting)
There was a song written on it and it was from AIM times...
(see, how old the junk i keep in my room)

i had no idea how the song went till i began to read it... then the tune sorta followed...

"It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better off on the road"

Sounds familiar? Man, AIM days... great stories there ;)
oh, i can SO imagine Kat singing this...

"Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
We are the Body of Christ" - Casting Crowns

I needed this, maybe you do too...

Nehemiah 8:10
This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

La vie est délicat

how dyou find what cannot be seen,
where dyou buy what cannot be bought;
how dyou go to places you cant,
to win the battles you once fought.
-
dyou do what your heart tells you,
how dyou refuse what you really want;
how dyou still start after so many stops,
to still stride when you're the last one.
-
how dyou give up giving up,
how dyou resolve to not end;
how dyou ascending a descending escalator,
when dyou stop being just man.
-
how dyou break life at your own hands,
with not a drop of blood seen later;
how dyou stare down a knife's brink,
how dyou tear a tissue paper.
-
how dyou give birth to ingenuity,
how dyou set growth into motion;
how dyou move the waves when you sing,
how dyou prosper a barren ocean.

I plucked this out of some facebook group page...
This stuff is HILARIOUS
made my day, a few days ago...

I Appreciate Christian Pick-Up Lines
a collection of the best:

(i filtered some off coz there were too many... and you might get bored half way through)

1. "nice bible."

4. "for you i would slay two Goliaths"

5. "i would go through more than Job for you"

6. "you are perfect, except with all the sin."

8. "you are so unblemished that i would sacrifice you."

9. "what, this here? oh.. thats my study bible - it's a little bigger but i can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight."

12. "the word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'; how about dinner?"

13. "i didnt believe in predestination until tonight."

15. "i believe one of my ribs belongs to you."

20. "my spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts peoples spirits"

22. "is this the transfiguration.. because you are glowing"

25. "hey.. i would work 7 years for your sister.. but i would work 7 more years for you."

27. "hey good-looking, Ecclesiastes 4:11..."

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

29. "bible-gateway happens to be my homepage."

32. "can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?"

36. "did i just have mud rubbed in my eyes?"

38. "now i know why Solomon had 700 wives... Because he never met you."

41. "is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Travel Bible in your pocket"

44. ''you put the 'cute' back in persecution...'

'45. "your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead"

47. "how many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?"
(Think: Jericho)

48. "how would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?"

52. "unfortunately i cant perform miracles and ive only got enough bread and fish for 2 people."

54. "let me remove my sandals before I come any closer.." (sounds familiar... hm..)

55. "lets say, hypothetically, you were married. I would send your husband to the front line against the Amorites" (think: David)

60. "if i had to choose between a romantic date with you or a night with the fellas... i would sit at home and read my bible."

61. "i really like your spirituality, it goes well with that shirt."

66. "i'm a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you're a proverbs 31 kinda woman..."
(read proverbs 31 and proverbs 32... MUST!)

72. "let me sell you an indulgence because it's a sin to look as good as you do."

73. "not a big fan of your last name, but thats cool, i can change that."

76. "i consider myself to be fisher of women. this would be referred to as "casting my net"." (for the millionth time...)

79.
"Me.
You.
Song of Songs:
The Remix."

80. "when i read philippians 4:8, i think about you."

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

87. "who's your favorite apostle?"

90. "let's go for a ride in my zondervan"

91. "I like to think that I'm all things to all women."

93. 'all im looking for is a Godly woman. i don't care that you're not attractive.'

94. 'you float my ark.'

97. "you make me want to be a better Christian."

100. "if you were staying for the tribulation, i would consider staying too..
but then i would probably leave."

102. "i would have asked you out to dinner, but i just put all my money in the offetory basket."

109. "the perseverance of the saints is well illustrated by the amount of time I spend talking to you."

112. "I would bring your father twelve-hundred Philistine foreskins for just one date with you."
(i know, y so many long ones...)

Finally, i think this the best part la (from the description section):

"It's crazy that so many ppl have joined, hopefully the lines are spreading far and wide.
Few quick admin matters.

1) If someone suggests the speaking in tongues pick up line once more i will personally come round to their house and get all Old Testament on them.

2) Don't post anything about these lines not working. 60% of the time they work everytime."

Any favorites? (i think no.44 is the best out of the list...)
haha or maybe a top5 list? send to comments part...

Eh disclaimer bout the verses yeah (for non-Christians and Christians alike..):
most are taken out of context. So dont take them literally...

Told in Threes

Well, im in Monash now...
so yeah... updated.. lol.
Actually, ive been in for about 2 weeks now, if you include the first week's orientation...
Saw a few familliar (church) faces... Kenson, Emmy, Karl, Kevin, Ervin... Wei Lin!
Sucks being a freshie again... BUT a good excuse to not know...
Thinkin of joining the CF... maybe music... maybe ultimate... God i want more time...

Officially, its Bachelor of Business and Psychology (no its not a double... more like half of each...)
This years intake for this course was HUUGE... 6 ppl.

And that would be : Sid Simba (yes, lion king...) Melanie Tumesang Louis (whom somehow so many ppl i know know) and your truly.



Then there was Saturday...

Much needed getaway came at last...
JComs (+ a few oldies and newbie) checked out a campsite in Perting...
Nama: Horr Wai, Sasha, Jeffrey, Lily, Kah Yun, Kester, Tim, Phillip, Me...

Basically theres this camp coming up 30-31 Aug for the kids (9-14)...
lots of stuff planned... night hike and games and all...
lol... free promo!

Anyways.. Dragged along my D80 to find my inner-cameramen (waat..)
lol.. jk la, i where got D80... just used a reg point-and-shoot k...

(haha.. trying to rmbr what Mr Patrick thought us... i think it was the 9 rules of photography?)

More (and different) pics here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=96648&id=725092716&l=df5975ab68

Then there was MTB in Calvary YOuth

And THAT... stands for Muka Tembok Besi (face... wall... metal... metal walled face?)

And well, we were suppose to dare to be different...

and so we did... by wearing our school uniforms to church (i still fit!)...

And i dare say that (despite the irony of everyone doing the same different thing... which in turn makes everyone the same...) It was great blend of fun and learning bout Him.

Go a step furthur than furthur.

Malas nak upload pics la.. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=96617&id=725092716&l=8ff6dff6e3

so there.. blogs a lil more colourful now...

So whats so wrong about being wrong?

On a personal note, i HATE (and have come across many times, if i may add) people who don't know how to get things wrong.
Not intentionally get things wrong, but just are to afraid to try and fail trying.

(if you read the tag before this notice how i said HATE is a strong word... i don't use it often...)

First: People who don't dare move because they don't see a road/way. they just don't know how to make one.

Second: Those who only know one way of doing things, and yeah... you get the picture...

Third: People who, in a group, 1) choose not to try to accomplish something 2) then laughs when a guy takes the risk and fails, AND 3) pretends like he knew everything all along...

I have this accumulated resentment that i must express...

if you fall into any of these three categories... you have a pride/kiasu/fear/dependency problem... don't worry, problems only make you human... but please work it out... or pray... or see a mental specialist: me (yes, que to laugh...)

if you don't, check again... admittingly... i do, too, at times...

you know a guy i know once said: (i wish i could say wise guy, or even smart guy.. he only was when he said this...)

"While you're at your youth, screw up as many times as you can."
Do you know how liberating that is??

Its this constant fear, possibly of being ridiculed or maybe just the kiasu-ness that enstrangles society. All the creativity and the desire to attempt dreams are sucked out just because your dad said "You can be a doctor lawyer or engineer. Only."

So long as you're ready to pick yourself back up and learn from experience (which so happens to be the best teacher...) and not make the same mistake twice.

I mean, so what if you get rejected from a guy after plucking the balls to confess?? ('you' being a girl, ok? lets get THAT one clear...) go yum cha with your friends and laugh over it or cry with your best bud, or both (not at the same time la.. pls.. talk about emotional roller coaster man..)

What so bad about being so-so? what if you don't look perfect?
You being YOU is an attraction that'll last way longer than your make up

(btw: i cant stand people with make up... maybe its just those who don't know how to put it on...)

Listen (and when i say 'listen', I'm serious.. lol..), its when you smile wide with that pimple, people will laugh the hardest, and they WILL LAUGH. It is also then when people are most envious of you.

ps: i know i know.. there aren't enough pics in this blog are there? will work on that...
pps: should i cut out my brackets? i like how the huge font squeezes together
ppps: btw, the mj pic below was my first Photoshop project... disclaimer for the bad quality... lol...

Factual Novels - Quicky on MJ's Death

The sudden death of Michael Jackson got me thinking...
Well, not really the death... more of the memorial service...

Personally, I don't really fancy the man...
Great artist and all, agreed.
But there's too much dirt on him for me..

But if you have been affected by this man as most claim, or just stayed up from 1-4am (Malaysian time) to watch people pay their last respects for the King of Pop, like i did (hey it was suppose to be greater than Elvis's or Princess Diana's funeral)... Here's a bit to chew on...

I saw 8000 people, most who did not know him personally, congregate to appreciate the life of one man.

These people did not know him. But they knew the life he lived. They only knew portions of Michael's story, and that compelled them to their standing ovations.

A song that connected to them
A charitable deed he did others couldn't
A tribulation he overcame that everyone witnessed as he lived his life in front of the lens

He lived his life in front of the camera. and everyone who watched was compelled.
His family, who undoubtedly most of what he went through in life, was obviously the most moved.

Now wait.
Take that thought. And manipulate.

1.How many more than the 8000 would gather if everyone knew his WHOLE story?
(Think everything we/they missed out: actions, words, thoughts, emotions, decisions and the motives behind each.)
2.If everyone watched your life to the detail as the above states, would as many come to your funeral as the answer to the first question? (i think everyone would be coming for everyone's funeral... absolution...)
3.(this maybe a little far fetched for some) Think of those who see your life as it is, God, angels, those in heaven or hell, Satan even... How they would laugh and cry, feel just as (or even more) compelled and moved as what we saw that night, or wait anticipatingly for each chapter to unfold... Fool's guess? or a glimpse of heaven, perhaps?



No, this isn't about the death of Michael Jackson.
Its about the story of our lives, the beautiful factual novel being penned down right now.